


Paradise Isn't Really Paradise Without You

by earthtomccall



Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Paradise, Spoilers, The Death Cure, book referances, newt x thomas - Freeform, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earthtomccall/pseuds/earthtomccall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas has made it to paradise and should be feeling excited to start a new life, but one thing is holding him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paradise Isn't Really Paradise Without You

**Author's Note:**

> I M HAVING A LOT OF NEWTMAS FEELINGS LAHISFAIFHELHAL this is my first tmr fic so!!!

"I'm going to die here," Thomas thought, "I'm going to die in paradise while three of my best friends died so painfully." He hated himself for it. He didn't deserve to be in such a beautiful place, it really was paradise. Thomas looked around at the tall trees blowing in the wind, the beautiful multicolored flowers, everyone he knew laughing and smiling, they were all so happy. In a world full of terror, everyone was happy in this paradise. Everyone but thomas.

Thomas sat by a tree with pink flowers on it and watched his friends. Minho was talking to Jorge, on the contrary to their first meeting, they were actually growing closer. Thomas smiled for the first time since he arrived at paradise. He actually felt a something inside him, not happiness, he could never truly feel happy again, but he felt something good. He liked seeing his friends bond. However, every ounce of goodness he felt watching Minho quickly drifted away. Whenever he saw Minho, he saw the secret he could never tell him. The secret he would bury with him. Minho was always laughing, but there was a certain sadness to his laugh, something that would never go away, and Thomas knew why.

Minho missed Newt. Brenda missed Newt. Even Gally missed Newt. Thomas didn't miss Newt. Missed was an unrealistic understatement. He wished he missed Newt, it would hurt less than the pain he felt. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Newt. Every time he opened his eyes, he saw Newt. Every waking moment, he thought of him. Every sleeping moment, he thought of him. When he tried his hardest not to, all he could see was the bullet from his very own gun grazing Newt's body. When he looked at the night sky, he saw Newt's black heart as he slowly went insane. When he looked at the sun, he saw Newt's golden hair. He wished he could talk to him, but he knew if he did he wouldn't know what to say. He'd probably stand there waiting for Newt to say he hated him. Waiting for him to tell him he missed him. Waiting for him to say something.

Thomas hadn't felt like this with Chuck or Teresa. He had seen them both die right before his eyes, but he didn't think about them much. Occasionally someone would bring one of them up at dinner, and he'd smile at a memory. No one ever brought up Newt. They all knew Newt was long gone, but only he knew what really happened. In some ways, Thomas was almost glad he was the one who pulled the trigger. He saved his best friend from becoming something he so desperately didn't want to. It also showed Thomas the trust Newt had in him. Even though they'd only known each other a few months, Thomas and Newt had made a deeper connection than anyone else in the glade. They had shared common interests and hopes in humanity. Newt had never told Thomas he'd loved him, but Thomas felt it. They had a mutual love stronger than friends, an untold love, almost a lust. But all that was gone now.

Thomas got up from his seat at the tree and picked flowers. He laid them down beside him, as if making a grave for Newt, then he started tearing up. Something he hadn't done in a long time. He never really felt sad anymore, just emptiness. He wanted Newt to fill his void again. 

"Newt was the crank," Thomas thought, "so why are you the one going insane."


End file.
